Well, as I talked about in my Resonance post all those many many moons ago, I did jump into the scary Priestess of Avalon book-program thing, and so far it’s been not so scary. Worked my way from Samhain up to Beltaine prep and, while I will freely admit I am rubbish at keeping a spiritual practice and doing what the book tells me to, I have done a lot of the gist of it.

The bit I am having a go at following is about attuning with the goddesses of the brittish isles through the seasons. So at Samhain, you look at crone archetypes and samhainy stuff, at Yule you focus of calm, stillness and spiritual connection, Imbolg is freshness, maiden goddesses and change, and so on. My only problem is that I keep changing my mind on how I chose to experience God. Is she a feminine force? Do I see and experience her/it through anthropomorphic goddesses like Bride and Brigid, do I see them as actual, distinct, living manifestations of the divine, or projections of a certain energy, or simply archetypes to work with using divine energy? Is God just another dimension to our reality, an incredibly mundane energy at the heart of it all, or some great grand-ass force that swoops in and does stuff? I just can’t decide. Doh!

I’m not so bothered about it right now. I can work with Her one way, then in a different way ten minutes later if I want, and this doesn’t phase me: it’s the same energy, I am still working with God. I think the point of her is that we’ll never get what it’s “true” expression is and what’s really going on, just like we have absolutely no idea how our consciousness works. We don’t understand it, but we use it anyway.

Stuff I am learning includes knowing I have to be a lot easier on myself. If I don’t get everything in the month done, it doesn’t mean I need to beat myself up about it. I am learning that change is slooooooowww and stuff doesn’t happen instantly and, actually, that’s not a problem. Stuff slowly building up is good, as then you are ready for it when it happens. And life is always pretty sweet anyway. I Have also been so much more aware of the change of the seasons this year than I am normally and I decide with each change of the wheel “Oooh! That’s my favorite season!”

With an update to my fear of scary change, so far the only changes that have happened have been good stuff. Hurrah! However, I have been on fairy hiatus for quite a while. I’ve been attemptive priestessing.

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