As far as I am concerned, I whinge enough about my lack of self love and support enough in the real world, the internet does not need more moping. What the internet needs is answers, dammit! So how am I planning to get me back on form?


1. Write a huge great list.

I have done this before and it has worked marvelously – when you are in the correct frame of mind ie. hopeful. Not in the wrong one ie. despair. First off, when in grumpy mood, write a huge list of all the reasons you suck etc. Cry and get angry and freak out and all sorts. When you come out the other side, put a massive cross on the list in garlic (or on many lists) to banish it. Rub with rosemary to purify it, cover it with salt to neutralise it and burn it to pieces, every last bit.

After this bit, write a huge encouraging letter/list of why you are awesome, every good point about you, especially that as a baby you were born perfect and loved and you are still the same being and still perfect and loved, you’ve just forgotten. Goddess is always there to help you out (as long as you let her). Cover it with lots of stars and use nice pens. This list is THE TRUTH about you, so write that on there.

2. Self Love Rituals.

Ok, on paper they look super lame. I agree. No-one wants to look at themselves in a mirror and go “I love you, Faeriedaughter” in a heart-felt manner a begillion times. But, something about the act of getting candly stuff together, setting the scene and looking yourself straight in the eye and saying “Oi – none of that, you rock” does work. Not necessarily long-term, but everythings a series of short-terms anyway really. They tend to follow the same mirror format – I’ve heard of the bath format, but in baths I tend to wallow in my thoughts, and when I am in a sour mood wallowing does not produce constructive thoughts.

3. Targeted Action.

It’s all very well doing rituals and lists and the such, but I always feel like too much of that is hiding from real life, and nothing is gonna change unless you get out there in the real world and MAKE a change. Thus, action plans. I write them down in big letters and smugly put a tick next to them when I complete them.

To Demonstrate: Ok. So one area I have trouble in is voicing opinions and feeling that my opinions count. (Thus, I create an anonymous blog. Genius.) As I don’t feel my opinions matter I feel like the poop about the whole affair. Thus, one self-love mission is to be brave and voice an opinion once a week. Not a “I like cheese better than ham” kind of opinion, more of a “I think this would work better if we did this, see?” opinion, or a “This is what I think about warrior culture” opinion or “That’s a disgusting way to think about women” opinion. One about something that matters. I’ve ended up so far in the non-judgemental accepting land of rainbows and puppies I feel like a doormat without an opinion. I can be nice and have an opinion dammit!

Watch out for more schemes to get on your team.