Today I have had some perspective training.
By day, I work as a receptionist. It’s my pay-the-bills job. I do okay there. Yesterday, I had a surprise meeting, and we all know those are never good. We had a chat about how I could be doing better ie. how I could be doing stuff more like the other two receptionists. Gah!
Now, my bosses are lovely, and they always take the if-something-seems-to-be-up-we’ll-confront-it-right-at-the-beginning-and-fix-it approach. However, a surprise you-need-to-shape-up-and-be-more-like-your-colleagues meeting never gets anyone dancing around the office.
Certain things picked up upon didn’t bother me, as a lot of it can be easily fixed. It was the idea that I was bottom ranking in the receptionist stakes that niggled at the back of my brain. I don’t like to be bottom at stuff. I like to be the top.
However, criticism at work really tends to get me. I spent six months at a job where my boss would tell me every day how shit I was, and because it’s a sore subject, criticism at work still gets my hackles up and resurrects all those I’m-not-good-enough feelings.
So post-meeting thoughts have been simmering in my brain overnight, until this morning, when I do my morning devotional. And I think about how much it bothers me. Then, I get some divine perspective.
How much does being a receptionist matter to me, really? Is it my dream job? Is it what I want to do for the rest of my life? Nope.
I am the youngest receptionist by over 10 years. Both of the others have worked in similar or almost the same jobs for the last 10-30 years. This is my second job, ever. So if they kick my ass, so they should.
My talents have never ever been organisation or maths. All my talent and awesome ability is directed into creative stuff – I paint, I draw, I sew costumes, I am a dancer, I write, and I am really really great at all that stuff. That’s a hella lot of awesome ability right there. That’s what I’m all about. Perhaps the other receptionists just rock at being receptionists. Is it really that bad being the bottom-ranking receptionist if I rock at something else that matters more?
I am beginning to realise that it’s OK not to be the best at everything, and that it’s important not to take these things too seriously, especially when in the grand scheme of things, they don’t matter.
I’d much rather be a kickass dancer than a kickass receptionist. So it’s all good.